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How to self-regulate: emotions and thoughts

When was the last time you experienced a powerful emotional reaction to a thought or situation and how well did you handle it?


Harvard Prof. @robert.waldinger and Schulz have concluded that emotional regulation strategies are essential as they influence people’s health, wealth, relations, performance, and their overall life satisfaction. 


It’s no wonder big time business tycoon Warren Buffet once said ‘If you cannot control your emotions you cannot control your money’. Much like money emotions and thoughts are key to our independence, survival but also developmental growth.


So what can we do to self regulate? Firstly we can create a healthy baseline from which to start with via simple daily practices that compound overtime (Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither are index funds🤣).


Routines as simple as:

1)walking even 30 mins a day (especially if you can couple them with something else i.e. social connection, sun or cold exposure, nature) or better yet add to that exercising, 

2)being exposed to sunlight for 10 minutes in the morning

3)eating less processed food and more fresh vegetables/meats/fish or super foods

4)having a restful sleep

5)positive connections (connecting with friends/people but also with yourself/alone time) 

6)meditation or prayer to build high conscious/flow state this can also be achieved via observing yourself being present in the moment even in mundane day to day task 

7)setting healthy boundaries (or removing yourself in certain cases)

8)communicating consciously (especially with situations or individuals that present themselves as difficult)

But what can we do once we are faced with conflict? Take a moment to notice:

1) Are you fearful? Anxious? Stressed? or defensive? these are usually emotions that trigger us and it's worth taking a moment to understand what thought, emotions and actions we took if we already reacted or if we didn't to try to observe and ask ourselves why we felt or thought those things so that we can understand our pattern and also discern where it's coming from but also dive deeper into it to get to the core of what we want.

2)Call in god, god doesn't want you to feel fear, anxiety, stress and he will show you the way if you have faith to be patient before you can see it and I know it's hard but if you pray to him share how you feel he will give you strength if you ask you shall receive. Calling in god is becoming aware of the dark forces that are stress, anxiety, fear and facing what's in front of you logically so that you can feel better. The more you do this the better you get at self regulating.

3)Pick our battles and forgive. By picking our battles we chose to only battle when an imminent threat is in front of us and we keep anotherwise high energy frequency which we can nourish with some of the routines above to fuel in energy back on us. We want to keep a positive energy around us and we want to face things and forgive so that we have a better life and relations and govern ourselves well. It's for us but it also benefits those around us as we are better able to get along and are beings of light not dark.

After the event that triggered us we can take a moment to recover and get some energy in, fuel in our tank or restore ourselves by following one of the routines as set out per above.

If we find ourselves getting triggered again and again and feel we may need the help of a therapist that can be very helpful too to get clear on things. My therapist helped me see what my triggers where and who I needed to forgive in order to have better self regulation and happiness in my life in order to not come in the way of me connecting with my creator, myself and people. The way we did this was through becoming aware and writing down my thoughts, emotions, and actions when triggered I did this exercise individually for months and discussed it with him until I became aware of what my patterns where and I started choosing how I wanted to act which is basically self-regulating. 

One thing I realised was that ultimately if I observe myself in this way I get to know myself and I build self awareness and can make choices that align with me. But also I can be more collaborative with people. Leading to a more positive atmosphere for everyone. In addition life isn't static if you are pliable like leather or move like water you can adjust your behaviour via self regulation so that you have a flow in life that moves you optimally.